What does “care” mean to you? If I say, “I take good care of my body”, is that okay? Or do you want to respond, “Oh, shut up!” and slam out the door. Do you think purely in terms of Biff and Buffy in their spandex thongs at the gym, or is “care of my body” a wide subject that encompasses nutrition, meditation, annual physicals, self-love and Yoga? Does that seem healthy or does it seem indulgent?
I’m serious. What does “self-care” mean to you? If you say, “I love my body enough to take care of it”—what emotions arise within you? Satisfaction? Gratitude? Disgust? Guilt? Tears? Happiness? A loud, snorting, “As IF!?” Were someone to say to you, “please take care of yourself!”—would you think all that meant was drive carefully and remember to floss? What if he or she (a reliable, good person) held both your hands and looked deeply into your eyes, his or her eyebrows raised in a little drawbridge over the nose, and sincerely, quietly urged: “please take care of yourself!” Would that be freaky, or tender? Would you think, OMG—is he or she seeing something bad that I am doing, that I’m not even aware of?? That’s a scary thought.
I like to think about the Dalai Lama. (Check out a photo of him.) If he were holding my hands and looking deeply into me with his twinkly eyes, his request “take care of yourself” would feel profound. I would think, “he actually cares! He sees me as a soul thrashing my way through life, and knows that I need to be loving and gentle with myself.” He’d see through my ‘tough guy’ ruse and speak to the tender core in me. Not the slothful space or self-indulgent narcissist, but that which swam out of the cosmos into baby-ness on the day I was born: the light in my marrow, the one who knows we are all connected. She is smothered in layers of reactivity to horror, pain, fear, jealousy—the panoply of human emotion. Yet when I am able reach her—ah! She is pure.
It is awfully hard to get at her through all those layers, and the ‘slash and burn’ approach to getting to her absolutely will never work. Self-awareness, self-acceptance, s-l-o-w willingness, patience …these are strands weaving the path to her. The cosmic joke is that she is always only a breath away, here, right here, now. How to value that which we already have: ourselves? It’s an existential question, so simply answered when we attend to the breath, to the moment, and give tender care to Self. Then Self relaxes into expression—and think of all the ways that we ‘express’! Is it possible that when we truly care for Self, all that loveliness travels out toward all the others to whom we are connected? Ahhh!
I’m serious. What does “self-care” mean to you? If you say, “I love my body enough to take care of it”—what emotions arise within you? Satisfaction? Gratitude? Disgust? Guilt? Tears? Happiness? A loud, snorting, “As IF!?” Were someone to say to you, “please take care of yourself!”—would you think all that meant was drive carefully and remember to floss? What if he or she (a reliable, good person) held both your hands and looked deeply into your eyes, his or her eyebrows raised in a little drawbridge over the nose, and sincerely, quietly urged: “please take care of yourself!” Would that be freaky, or tender? Would you think, OMG—is he or she seeing something bad that I am doing, that I’m not even aware of?? That’s a scary thought.
I like to think about the Dalai Lama. (Check out a photo of him.) If he were holding my hands and looking deeply into me with his twinkly eyes, his request “take care of yourself” would feel profound. I would think, “he actually cares! He sees me as a soul thrashing my way through life, and knows that I need to be loving and gentle with myself.” He’d see through my ‘tough guy’ ruse and speak to the tender core in me. Not the slothful space or self-indulgent narcissist, but that which swam out of the cosmos into baby-ness on the day I was born: the light in my marrow, the one who knows we are all connected. She is smothered in layers of reactivity to horror, pain, fear, jealousy—the panoply of human emotion. Yet when I am able reach her—ah! She is pure.
It is awfully hard to get at her through all those layers, and the ‘slash and burn’ approach to getting to her absolutely will never work. Self-awareness, self-acceptance, s-l-o-w willingness, patience …these are strands weaving the path to her. The cosmic joke is that she is always only a breath away, here, right here, now. How to value that which we already have: ourselves? It’s an existential question, so simply answered when we attend to the breath, to the moment, and give tender care to Self. Then Self relaxes into expression—and think of all the ways that we ‘express’! Is it possible that when we truly care for Self, all that loveliness travels out toward all the others to whom we are connected? Ahhh!
