So I moved from Portland, Maine to the Northern Kitsap Peninsula in Washington State. Westward, ho! If you tend to be an anxious person, this is not a recommended treatment. In effect, you take your entire life, just turn it upside down and shake it, leave behind everything that is familiar to you, all the precious relationships, then step into a catapult, pull the release lever, and POW! you fly willy-nilly into a new life. In my case, it was almost a straight line across the country. I landed in an area that I had barely explored, other than to identify perhaps the county I would wish to live in. The entire event was ‘woo-woo’: time elided, ground shifted. It was pretty surreal. Ultimately there needs to be a very good reason to put yourself through this tumult—the angst of multiple endings and the stress of a whacking new beginning. I could do it with panache when I was young, but now? Not so much! Roots, connections, friendships, networks—all, in the wind.
Thus, two years ago I sat on some steps at the rental I’d found in a village across the Puget Sound from Seattle. I looked around and thought, "I'm glad grass and dandelions look the same!" because nothing else did. In a surreal (I would end up using that word a lot) moment, I wondered whether I'd landed in the movie Avatar. Maine was covered in snow, but everything here was green and the cedar trees absolutely towered overhead. Bird song was at times so raucous that I wondered if monkeys inhabited the upper realms. There was, and is, this large, profoundly blue bird that has a black neck and head, topped with a swizzle of black hair—er, feathers—called a Stellar Jay. I'd never imagined anything like it, and it was a dandy shock to me. Then there is some teeny bird (I've only seen it in profile) that opens its spindle beak and casts forth the full volume and range of operatic ardor. Where am I, I've wondered?
Those of you who are in the process of moving, may the hand of whatever Deity you believe in, even if it's straight biology, may that hand be cupped over you or lifting up under you, and delivering you to exactly where you most belong. May you find your people swiftly, and assuage your anxiety through the active process of using grounding tools and cues to the parasympathetic nervous system. If you tend to be anxious—it will still be really hard! But accept “this is really hard”, and relax as much as you can. Remember that it was extremely stressful to me—and I specialize in emotional work. So what are you asking of yourself? Is there a remorseless list of shoulds? "I should be okay with this! I should be over it!" I’ve said them all. Yuck. Please be as kind to yourself as you would ever wish to be to your most beloved, whether that is an elder, parent, lover, friend or child.
All blessings to you.
Thus, two years ago I sat on some steps at the rental I’d found in a village across the Puget Sound from Seattle. I looked around and thought, "I'm glad grass and dandelions look the same!" because nothing else did. In a surreal (I would end up using that word a lot) moment, I wondered whether I'd landed in the movie Avatar. Maine was covered in snow, but everything here was green and the cedar trees absolutely towered overhead. Bird song was at times so raucous that I wondered if monkeys inhabited the upper realms. There was, and is, this large, profoundly blue bird that has a black neck and head, topped with a swizzle of black hair—er, feathers—called a Stellar Jay. I'd never imagined anything like it, and it was a dandy shock to me. Then there is some teeny bird (I've only seen it in profile) that opens its spindle beak and casts forth the full volume and range of operatic ardor. Where am I, I've wondered?
Those of you who are in the process of moving, may the hand of whatever Deity you believe in, even if it's straight biology, may that hand be cupped over you or lifting up under you, and delivering you to exactly where you most belong. May you find your people swiftly, and assuage your anxiety through the active process of using grounding tools and cues to the parasympathetic nervous system. If you tend to be anxious—it will still be really hard! But accept “this is really hard”, and relax as much as you can. Remember that it was extremely stressful to me—and I specialize in emotional work. So what are you asking of yourself? Is there a remorseless list of shoulds? "I should be okay with this! I should be over it!" I’ve said them all. Yuck. Please be as kind to yourself as you would ever wish to be to your most beloved, whether that is an elder, parent, lover, friend or child.
All blessings to you.
